You are not special
My interpretation of Chapter 3: You are not special (The Subtle art of not giving f*ck)
Jimmy is kind of a person who feels that he is special, a know it all and one who can do wonders.
He lives in a false belief that since he is good at one thing he can be good at everything else. Let's say he is a good software engineer and suddenly he starts thinking that he can be a good entrepreneur, a life coach, or a business person. For the most part, he can do that but that can happen if and only if he dedicated the equivalent time and effort he put into software engineering.
The problem of feeling that we are special is so delusional that we always want to feel good about ourselves that we spent most of the time thing about ourselves and not others. Feeling good about ourselves and feeling special is just another high, once we get it we want more of it.
True self-worth comes not from how a person feels about his positive experience but rather from how he feels about his negative experience. A person with high self-worth is one who is able to look at the negative parts of this character and is able to accept the negatives in him. And also has a plan to act and improve upon them.
This kind of person actually has a feeling of entitlement.
Entitlement plays out in two ways:
- I am awesome and rest everyone sucks, hence I should get special treatment.
- I suck and rest everyone is awesome, hence I should get special treatment.
The realization that you and your problems are not privileged is the first step toward solving them. It's important to understand that we are not special rather everyone is special and the problems we face, are faced by everyone else in the world.
Why this bias arises? This happens because we live in the age of social media and we see only the bright side of everyone or the high time. No one shows their low time and this causes a false belief that we are the only ones with problems and the world is a happy place with no sufferings. In fact, life is suffering for everyone.
Even if you are exceptional at one thing chances are that you are average at many other things. The simple reason is that we haven’t put in much effort for the rest of the things as we had put in the best thing of ours. It is also statistically un probable for a single person to be extraordinary in many areas in his life.
People become truly exceptional at something they do not because they are exceptional but rather they are obsessed with improvement. And that obsession with improvement paves a path to become exceptional. This obsession arises when we truly believe that we are average and need improvement.
In the end, believing that you are not so special will pave a path for your improvement and would eventually lead to success, and vice-versa.
